THE ART OF EMPOWERING A MAN

Just as men need to learn the art of listening to fulfill a woman's primary love needs, women need to learn the art of empowerment. When women enlist the support of a man, she empowers him to be all that he can be. A man feels empowered when he is trusted accepted, appreciated, admired, approved of, and encouraged.

Many women try to help their man by improving him but unknowingly weaken or hurt him. Any attempt to change him takes away the loving trust. Acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement are his primary needs.

The secret of empowering a man is never to try to change him or improve him. Certainly you may want him to change-just don't act on that desire. Only if he directly and specifically asks for advice is he open to assistance in changing.

“Give Trust and Not Advice”

She tries to change him or improve him. She thinks her attempts to change him love, but he feels controlled, manipulated, rejected, and unloved. He will stubbornly reject her because he feels she is rejecting him. When a woman tries to change a man, he is not getting the loving trust and acceptance he actually needs to change and grow.

The problem is that when a man resists her attempts to improve him, she misinterprets his response. She mistakenly thinks he is not willing to change, probably because he does not love her enough. The truth is, however, that he is resistant to changing because he believes he is not being loved enough. When a man feels loved, trusted, accepted, appreciated, and so forth, automatically he begins to change, grow, and improve.

When a man does not feel loved just the way he is, he will either consciously or unconsciously repeat the behavior that is not being accepted. He feels an inner compulsion to repeat the behavior until he feels loved and accepted.

For a man to improve himself he needs to feel loved in an accepting way. Otherwise he defends himself .He needs to feel accepted just the way he is, and then he, on his own, will look for ways to improve.

Men motto is "Don't fix it, if it isn't broken." When a woman attempts to change a man, he receives the message that she thinks he is broken. This hurts a man and makes him very defensive. He doesn't feel loved and accepted.

A man needs to be accepted regardless of his imperfections. To accept a person's imperfections is not easy. Especially when we see how he could become better. It does, however, become easier when we understand that the best way to help him grow is to let go of trying to change him in any way. 

 

Take care,

Bharathi.

P.S: complied from a book